ladybugtoos

Was in training yesterday for work so I didn’t get a lot of time to log in and record my weight, but it’s all good.  :p 

Yesterday 189.6

Today 188.6

Back below the 190s, which was my main goal for the week.  Now, if I could just stop taking those huge backwards steps.  Tired of tripping over the scales all the time.  I changed mini goal to 182.  I figured that would be 50 lbs lost and would be a good place to reevaluate where I want to be in the long term.

Oooh, and guess who finally contacted me yesterday after more than a week… my so called “friend” from Texas.  Yeah.  Talked to me for about three minutes on Yahoo Messenger, which is about all that I could handle anyway.  Just makes me mad.  He left for a fishing trip a day or two after I flew out of San Antonio and he was supposed to call me when he got back and tell me how it went.  Well, lets see, I know that he came back on Sunday because the people he went with… well, they’ve all got jobs and had to get back to them Monday.  And what day was it again yesterday?  Thursday?  Hmm, call me crazy, but I like it when my friends as least try and do what I ask of them.  An IM on Thursday is not a call on Sunday, now is it?  Boys are stoooopid.  I’m over the whole “wanting him” thing (well, mostly over it and I’d take him back in a heartbeat, if he’d ask.  Yeah, I’m stooopid too, I know) and I’m more than willing to be just friends, but I think he and I have different ideas of what that entails.   

190.8

Whoo-hoo!  *lol*  Definitely water weight, but I don’t remember peeing that much yesterday.  :p

And I can walk without wanting to scream today.  Need to see if I can get some running in tonight. 

193.0

Okay, that has got to be premenstrual.  There is no way I ate 10,000+ calories yesterday.  I ate alot, but… damn!  Not that much. 

Think I’m going to wait another day or two before I go running again.  I am so sore that I can barely walk… I’m waddling.  Very cute look, oh yeah.  I didn’t even bring my tennis shoes today.  I think I’m just going to stay off my feet as much as I can today, do some stretches, but any physical activity involving the legs must wait.  The calves and quads won… damn them!

190.0

Not bad.  I’d expected a little more gone this morning, but trust me, after going up the last few days, anything down is good. 

Oh, you will never believe what I did yesterday… I went running.  Me!  Shocking, I know.  I’m the peson that always said I would only run if being chased, but even while I was saying that, I was secretly always wanting to be a runner.  I’ve tried jogging in the past, but couldn’t even make it to the end of the block.  I never understood that.  Been walking for years and after losing this much weight, you’d think I’d be able to take things to the next level.  Well, I found an article last week about how to train to start running, and it sounded very doable to me.  You do it in 4/2 increments… 4 minutes walking with 2 minutes running, in 5 segments every other day.  Then next week it 3/3… 3 minutes walking with 3 minutes running.  I also read in the same article that said that some people who find themselves starting running programs and then find themselves to tired after a short distance are usually running too fast too soon, that you shouldn’t go any faster than a fast walk, so I made sure that I kept telling myself to slow down, and oddly enough I could run each of those 2 minutes segments without wanting to die.  I’m so proud of myself.  Of course, my calves and quads are wondering what in the hell that was all about and are complaining about it now, but they’re going to be more angry tomorrow when I do it again.  HA!

190.6

Not as bad as I would’ve figured after yesterday’s oink fest.  I can live with 0.4 lb up.  I’m only a day or two out from that very special time of the month, so it’s only going to get worse before it gets better.

190.0

Yeah, yeah, yeah.  I know.  Yesterday was a BAD day for eating.  I just kinda let go and lost control.  Then today I knew was going to be bad because it was the annual Kinze picnic.  I love the picnic.  So much fun and so much crap to eat… all of which is free.  Free cookies, nachos, ice cream, pop, snow cones, etc.  Then there’s the big meal, which I don’t really care for other than the potatos.  Love me taters… which is why I just can’t get the hang of the low carb diets.  Anyway, I guess that I didn’t really eat that much today when you factor in all the walking you do there, but nothing that I ate was at all good me.  Well, it’s only once a year and I will be back on track tomorrow.  Gotta get lower than Mom just to piss her off.  *heehee*  Aren’t I the best daughter?  :p  My dad told me the other day, that he knew that I wouldn’t hear it anywhere else, but that he was very proud of me and that I was doing a great job in the weight loss department.  Made me so happy.  I know too that he’s excited that I’m doing it the right way this time… no starving, no purging, no laxatives, no overexercising.  My dad’s always been concerned about the purging part.  This is the kinda person my mom is… when I admitted to them a couple of years back that I was struggling with bulemia, her exact words were “well, must not be hurting you too much… you’re not pencil thin yet.”  Gotta love my mom. 

188.6

Eh, damn those gummi bears anyway.  *lol*  I had to eat them.  It was the only way to shut them up.  Then their taunts turned to screams and I felt so much better.  *evil laugh*  Okay, so I didn’t really have to eat them… I wanted to and I don’t usually deny myself the things that I want.  Just eat them and count them in my daily totals and move on.  It works for the most part.

Oooh, you guys will never guess what I saw yesterday… my collar bones!  *jumps for joy*  I mean, they’ve been there all along of course.  I could feel them if I put my hand up there and I could see them if I shrugged or moved just right.  But yesterday I was looking in the mirror and I couldn’t figure out what was wrong or different.  Then I realized it… there they were.  That and the tendons in my neck.  Isn’t it funny… the things that skinny people take for granted make fat people so happy?  It totally rocked my day.  There’s something very elegant about collar bones.  Yeah, that’s weird, I know. 

187.6

Feeling a little better this morning.  I’ve decided to just go with the flow, see where I end up.  Taking some time off dating to work on me.  I’m a big believer in fate and karma and if it’s supposed to happen, it will. 

187.8

Don’t really have much to say this morning.  I’m back at work and could really use a nap.  I’ll leave it at that.

193.0

Yeah, like we didn’t expect THAT to happen.  It’s my own fault because I didn’t bring food with me to work yesterday (other than the chocolate chip/peanut butter chip cookies that I brought for everyone) so I had to resort to eating whatever I could find… which of course included some of those cookies.  I brought food with me today.  And who knows, maybe I’ll be lucky and it will all come back off by tomorrow.  I’m not gonna hold my breath, but ya never know?

See, this is why I weigh myself daily.  Keeps me responsible.  Otherwise, I’d eat like that all the time and just beat myself up with the scales went up 5 lbs. a week.  This way, it goes up, I see it and I can deal with it sooner.