Me Again
Hi all. Me again. I’m in need of some emotional support. Not so that I won’t overeat, but so that I’ll eat. I’m back into the depression, which means I’ll probably stop eating again. But even though I’m sad, it’s weird because it’s like I want to cry, but I can’t. I think that’s my psyche saying that I know deep down that I’m better off without him and heck, I know that even not so deep down. Hell, I’ve known that all along. I prayed to God to either make him love me or take him away. I guess Texas is away. I even told him when he left that I was relieved because I knew that the relationship wasn’t healthy for me. The six weeks we were together before he left was nothing but a constant roller coaster ride of emotions for me, mostly just the bottom of the coaster. So, I know very well that I’m better off and when I really focus on it, I’m okay. But I have an issue about losing my friends…. seems like every friend I make moves far away, leaving me alone. So I’m assuming that this is related to that more than to me losing a so-called “boyfriend”, if I can even call him that, which I couldn’t. And it’s not like we aren’t still talking…. he emailed me just this morning, but it’s just that I won’t actually see him anymore and that kills me. I’m sorry, Guys, I just don’t have anywhere else to go with this.
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Big hugs to you
Don’t be sorry for coming here and blogging
and getting your feelings out.
Thats what we are here for.
You know in your head that you are better off without the guy but we all know its not only our heads that dictate how we feel.
It is great that now you can move forward in a healthy way doing whats best for you.
This is the perfect time for you to stay focused on your own goals and to be the person you want to be.
Think about the future and what you want to achieve and where you want to be.
We are here to help.
You’ll do well, you are very smart, you already know that this is the best thing for you.
Time to get your butt in gear and think about YOU.
You can do this!
Lori
Aww..sounds like your having a hard time. Im really sorry your friend has moved away..but you asked god to guide the situation and he has. Have a little more faith in him and know that when one door closes another will open. Just try to take this time to nurture your body, mind and spirit. Your worth the effort!
I agree with Veronica, that now that this guy has left, you leave the door open for a potential better guy to come along. Don’t look at it as losing this guy, but now you can be found by another. And, I have lost a couple of boyfriends in my time and they were not meant for me at all. But, I would feel sad too. And I’m not sure it had anything to do with love but mostly pride. That someone “dumped” me. No one really wants to be let go. It’s easier to be the person who ends a relationship. I don’t know how you really feel about this guy but from your blogs you really weren’t a match and you know it. But, like I said, no one really wants to be let go. Maybe you shouldn’t respond to this person’s email anymore. This guy could be playing with your heart. I wouldn’t doubt if after awhile you don’t answer his emails he begins to want you again. And then the cycle begins again. Just better to end it and find someone local. Someone who can treat you special daily. Good luck woman. We all deserve real love.
You know what you deserve better. Everyone does. If someone is causing you this much pain you are better off without him. I know it sounds harsh but just re-read what you wrote. You sound like you need some serious time for yourself. Forget him and move on. A nice guy who won’t put you through this is out there. You will find him.
Thanks all of you guys. I know that every word that you’ve said is true and I really am trying to move on, but its going to take me some time. To go from spending every weekend together to him moving 1000 miles away is hard. And the more I think about it, the less I think of it as any romantic attachment to him that I had. Its that loss of a friend that’s the issue here. I don’t have many friends. I have no one that I can go out with or even talk to face-to-face. It hurts.
April, God doesn’t close a door without opening at least a window. I know you are having a hard time, but God can give you peace beyond all understanding. I know it’s hard. One step at a time. It’s easier to say that than to do it when you are in an unhealthy relationship. I know, I’ve been there myself. This is what I did last year…I made a promise to myself that it would not be about ANY man, it would be about me! I would concentrate on me…and if someone came along I was cross that bridge when I came to it. By deciding it wasn’t about some man or what I was lacking in my life…I focused on the positives I had and met the man that I love. This man loves me for me, flaws and all. And to be honest, I wasn’t quite sure he existed! Be patient, April. I didn’t think I’d be with such a wonderful man when I turned 36!
Oh…big big hugs for you. I’m sorry you are hurting, I can only imagine how hard that must be. But on the other hand, it does sound like your relationship with him wasn’t meant to be. It doesn’t take away the hurt though. I’m a strong Christian, and I always…always…put my problems into Gods hands. When I just can’t seem to figure things out, or I just feel to weak to try anymore, I hand it all over to God…Hes Incredible. I pray that find strength…We are ALL here for you!! Take care…Hugs
